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A Geek-End Weekend August 2008.

This is an old Geek-end Weekend, only now being written about.  Myself, the one and only Kevin Hellions, was joined by Sweet Matty Treats, Krone Meltzer, and the Educator of Excellence to go see some WWE and UFC action.  Along the way we were joined by the Raptor and this version of Team Hellions went to Syracuse NY for a Smackdown/ECW house show.
First stop was the Carousel mall to see if we ran into any WWE Superstars out killing time before the show.  Last time we were in Syracuse for a show there was a wrestler near by every time you turned your head.  Kane was signing autographs at Best Buy.  Kristal Marshall, Jimmy Wang Yang and Paul London were shopping.  Team Hellions walked behind Kristal for the entire length of the mall.  And it was well worth it.  Mark Henry and Marcus Cor Von were walking the mall together, parting the crowd like Moses did the Red Sea.  I summoned up the courage to shake Mr. Cor Von’s hand and tell him what a huge fan I am.  Unfortunately I closed my hand too quickly and bent his fingers back for a very uncomfortable handshake.
But this time there were no wrestlers to talk to, nor any autograph signings.  I bought some comics, we all had a little bit to eat and were off to the show.
Well, half of the show at least.  Because after seeing talented wrestlers such as Evan Bourne, the Brian Kendrick, Shelton Benjamin and Jeff Hardy we were treated to a half hour classic… between Mike Knox and Finlay.  While both are talented wrestlers, this was not the match that anyone wanted to see.  Maybe for 5 minutes, but no longer than 6.  Much less 30.  The match didn’t seem to ever end.  No classic British catch as catch can wrestling from Finlay.  No brawling from Mike Knox.  No response from the crowd.  Which we led.  You see, for every match up until this one Team Hellions led the slow claps.  We rallied behind the faces and motivated them to make dramatic come backs.  But even our magical hands could not save Finlay.
The match was thankfully over and we were ready for… intermission!  …the fuck?  Really?  We had a UFC PPV to watch.  Brock Lesnar!  Realizing that this was a house show no one cared about, even the wrestlers were playing it safe and being, lets face it, boring, we left the show early to travel to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch some UFC.  We arrive at 930, the show starts at 10 and we see three free tables.  Things are looking up.  We’re number 5 on the list, but with 3 free tables this shouldn’t take long at all.  Many minutes go by and no one has been seated.  Finally we ask, why is no one sitting there?  “Oh, some wrestlers put down $500 per table to hold them so they can watch Brock Lesnar.”  We’re now confused.  Do we leave, realizing we’ll never get a seat and eat tonight.  Or do we stay, and see some wrestlers?  We stayed.  Standing for two hours for this moment.  “Mr. Dykstra, your table is over here.”  Sweet Matty Treats leads the way for Kenny Dykstra and Victoria!  More wrestlers follow.  The Hardys and MVP were shown to their table by us.  And then we stood.  What now?  Brock’s fight came on, he won, and we left.  For Denny’s.  Slow Joe was our waiter, forgetting things like spoons, forks, and our drinks.  He tried but the kid wasn’t right in the head.  Another waitress kept apologizing for him and offered to switch tables so she could wait on us.  Not a problem we said, because then we would have to leave a tip.  Dammit, tips are to be earned, not expected!  Slow Joe receives a few dollars and a half.  Litterally a half, as the Educator tore a dollar in two and left half of it there.
We leave for home, defeated men.  No great wrestling, no great food, no great UFC.  But we had the memories of another Geek-end Weekend.

Geek-End Weekend I.

Geek-end Weekend I

(This is not the first Weekend, not by far, but it is the first one to be written about.  Dates will be provided when and where I can remember them.)

October 24 – October 26, 2008.

On Friday night, the 24th of October, members of Team Hellions made their way to Syracuse, NY.  This was to be a weekend of wrestling, MMA, comics, and general geekiness.  But first, a drive!  Myself – Kevin Hellions, along with Sweet Matty Treats, the Educator of Excellence, and scourge of the Internet Wrestling Community – Krone Meltzer, drove the unheard of distance of 70 miles to see some hot 2CW action.  However, knowing that we would yell and scream for 3 hours of independent wrestling, we knew that food would be required.  What better place to stop than Plainville Turkey Farm?
http://www.plainvillefarms.com/restaurant/

Located in Cicero, NY this buffet style restaurant provides a Thanksgiving style buffet every day of the year.  Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, cranberry sauce, soups, salads, and more.  It was glorious for myself and Treats, we who are known for eating dinner during the Jump the Smarks podcast.  I was enjoying plate after plate of buffet while Treats was trying to get into the waitress’s panties.  (I can only assume he was laying the seeds for a backup should Portia Perez say no to his advances).  Halfway into a large slab of white meat turkey I notice that I am the only one enjoying their food.  Krone is currently cutting weight for his wrestling team.  Perhaps a buffet wasn’t the best idea, but what harm could one meal do?  I look over at the Educator, who has frozen, fork halfway to his mouth, staring at his plate of salad.  What harm could come from salad? There it was, a large flying insect, not native to this country, lodged within the folds of his lettuce.  I wish I could show you a picture of this beast, but none of us took a picture with our phones nor am I willing to wade through the millions of insect species (or so Wikipedia tells me) to figure out what it was.  The Educator politely and calmly points out this invader to the waitress, who Treats is still trying to invade.  Minutes later and a free meal for the Educator means more money for the weekend.

We leave Plainville a little earlier than planned (I for one could have eaten two or three more plates, plus desert), and it was off to the Carousel Mall in Syracuse, NY.  These three stories of retail glory is in the building process of becoming the largest mall in North America.  And it has one fantastic comics shop.  Play the Game, Read the Story always has the comics I’m looking for, and have special ordered products for me many times.  They have gaming nights and frequent special deals.
http://www.playthegamereadthestory.com/

Then it was off to some amazing as always 2CW action.  My friend and fellow Hellion, Krone Meltzer, has posted his thoughts on this already and there is no reason for me to repeat it.  I will say that I have now been to four 2CW shows this year and never once been disappointed.  I walked out on a WWE show this year, I’ve been let down by UFC pay per views, but 2CW has always been worth every penny and then some.

Saturday brought my Christmas, the local library book sale.  Thousands upon thousands of books all for a dollar or less.  Most I’ll never read, but one day sell at the future Hellions store (coming soon!  Well, in the grand scheme of things in the universe it’s soon.  Might still be a few years out.)  However, that didn’t stop myself and the Educator of Excellence from spending a little money on a lot of books.

That evening brought an end to the Geek-end Weekend.  UFC 90 – Silva vs. Cote was on, and we were left… accepting?  I accepted the results but was far from blown away as I usually am for UFC shows.  It didn’t matter that much though, I had a belly full of chicken wings, cheeseburger dippers, and beer thanks to my local Buffalo Wild Wings.  Also, your host and lead Hellion, Kevin Hellions, was interviewed by the local TV station for an upcoming sweeps-month story on the phenomenon that is MMA.

Total cost for the weekend?  Probably close to $150, but worth every cent.  Comics, wrestling, and MMA are my obsessions.  The joke around here at Hellions is that, “if it involves men in tights, we’re there!”  A smart ass, tongue in cheek comment to be sure, but the underlying truth is there.  Where there are comics, wrestling, or MMA of any kind in New York, Team Hellions will be there.

Join us for the next Geek-end Weekend, coming soon. (Lesnar vs. Couture?)

Jump the Smarks Episode 11 – Welcome to the Train Wreck.

In this episode of Jump The Smarks, Team Hellion discuss everything but wrestling. From the Treats failed attempts of trying to get laid, to his love for an indie wrestler. The first roast is set to take place but who will be roasted?? Kevin Hellions comes to a podcast ill prepared? Many questions are proposed but few are answered, except for one involving a glory hole???? Oh god why did i post this episode?

Jump the Smarks Episode 10 – The New Format

In this episode of Jump The Smarks, the boys test out the new format to great success. They discuss a range of topics from the variety show that is Monday Night Raw to what to say to piss off Scott Hall. Plus Sweet Matty Treats unveils the official Jump The Smarks theme song!!! Also there are many tasteless jokes about Benoit, Jeff Hardy‘s dog, and suicide? Listen to see what Team Hellion has to say.

Jump the Smarks episode 9 – Greatest Tag Teams Ever!

On this episode of Jump The Smarks, Team Hellions discusses the greatest tag teams to ever grace the ring. From The Freebirds to The Dudleys to Miz and Morrison??? We also receive our first listener mail. And if you were on google and searched Tag Team, and just happened to find us, lets just say we are happy you came across us…..

ZINGER!!!!!!!!!!

Jump the Smarks Episode 07 – UFC, WWE, and the Republican National Convention?

In this episode of Jump The Smarks, the boys discuss their love for all things tights. From the WWE to UFC to the RNC to gay porn everything is talked about. Here is a list of jokes made throughout the course of the show…

Sarah Palin’s daughter, Daniel Beniot, Clorious Leechman, Jeff Ross, Kevin’s daily life…

also Kevin takes on a day in his life as there is an UFC and WWE ppv this weekend.

Episode 6 of Jump the Smarks – Swagger Like Us.

Summerslam fallout, championship scrambles, and John Cena surgery?? Oh My. Team Hellion discuss the happenings of wrestling and also deliver that sweet sweet TNA. Apparently the boys here have a hatred for Victoria which is now be unearthed. Also a preview of things to come next week at the end of this weeks episode.

Hellions Magazine presents Jump the Smarks Episode 5: We’ll Do It In Post!!!

Team Hellion brings the wrestling to the masses once again. SummerSlam is upon us and has the build up been good? Edge vs. HHH who is the better wrestler? Does the Hellion have a crush on CM Punk? How do you get your girlfriend into wrestling? Can Kevin get you laid by introducing your girlfriend into wrestling? All these questions and much more are answered in this weeks episode.

Hellions Magazine Presents Jump the Smarks Episode 4 – An Adamle Original

Beer, Chicken wings, and a blown DVR almost ruin this show. The Treats and the Hellion seem to hold onto it. Another zany week of wrestling means another zany show. The first Adamle as GM RAW is discussed. UFC PPV coming up this weekend. Edge and Foley deliver a money segment. Saturday Night’s Main Event is seen by few including this podcast. As always this podcast is brought to you by Jenny Mccarthy and her fight against autism.