Cloverfield 01-18-08 – My name is Van.

Found this online, which was found over on

Originally at:

So there’s been a few people posting over at the IMDB board claiming to be doctors or some such, as we all know, but now a new character seems to have popped up. “Van” from the Ethan Haas videos created a bulletin titled “Join The Resistance.” Not 100% sure if it’s legit obviously, but many of the posters seem to think he is because his user ID My_Name_Is_Van was registered on June 24, a month before anyone even knew about the movie.

Interesting things to note if you don’t feel like reading all the bulletins:
– His signature is: 1-18-08 The stars begin to rain down…
– He gives “one last piece of information to help us” which is “Dials Glitz Into”. Someone on IMDB was able to figure out it could possibly be an anagram for “It Isn’t Godzilla.”
– Several words in his posts are in blue: god, key, the, is. Obviously something along the lines of The Key is God or God is The Key.
– A couple of his posts have had words with missing letters. Someone on IMDB was able to figure out the letters spell out “Dragons are definitely out of the question so don’t even suggest.”
– He mentions a few names, but only one of the names was highlighted in purple (Freddy). Not sure if that will have any significance in his future posts or not.

Obviously none of this can be considered 100% legit, but you gotta admit, this is all pretty interesting!

My name is Van. I have the writings of Ethan Haas here. I thought it was just some old story, but then it began to sound like he’d actually seen the future. Everything up to now has happened exactly as he said it would, and then there’s his predictions of the future. So many people die…

You were able to find this message. You are one of us, so you must know what needs to be done. But to be sure, I have to test you. You need to find others and help us try to stop it. You must send them here to prove that they’re one of us. I’ve already started but we’re not strong enough yet. We only have until August 1st to recruit and prepare. Now trust Haas for the answer.


I registered just recently to relay this message. I have little time for taking breaks and resting, what with those monsters after us. I won’t be able to take another stop to post here for maybe 24 hours. I’ll keep you updated next time I can make it to a working computer console. This one is almost completely destroyed. Oh no, they’re here… OK, I have to leave before they enter the building, I have to make it to the next marked destination. Keep this in mind, fellow members of the Resistance: “Evil Travels On Shifting Shadows” That’s all I can say.. they’re comi-


OK, I managed to find a safe spot to set up communications. I am not yet allowed to reveal any of Ethan Haas’ plans but my last clue should give you an idea on how deadly our foe is. Where they come from is unknown, but why they are here is certain. The human race is soon to be extinct…


These “creatures” seem to be following us. They have keen senses, if we make even the slightest sound they’ll pinpoint our exact location. Even a tiny whimper. Silence is the key. I’ve decided to amass the survivors of the first attack in a secret location. Revealing the whereabouts to anyone, including you, could be suicidal on my half. I’ll keep you updated to the best of my abilities, however it might take me some time to respond. Our current location doesn’t have a stable connection. We’ll have to move soon. Hopefully before ‘they’ come back… Ethan Haas was very intelligent, with or without his gift. Thanks to him we have a chance for survival, however bleak it is. I have one last piece of information, to those that can help us. “Dials Glitz Into”


OH MY GOD. There seems to be more truth to Mr. Haas than we could have realized. Aside from the creatures that have been following us for the past few days there seems to be several other premonitions come true. It is a living nightmare… Disease, destruction, famine… The initial attack seems to have destroyed half of New York, and the smaller monsters seem to have invaded the rest. Their ‘PARENT’, as we call it, seems to be territorial, not moving outside of the first battleground. Military troops were sent in hours ago. There were no survivors. Only screams. Screams for loved ones, and screams for god. We have to hurry. Judgment day is upon us.


We have a name for our foe. After extensive and mind-bending (Ethan Haas pun NOT intended) research, we have a primitive knowledge of the language that the creatures speak. So far, the smaller monsters refer to their ‘PARENT’ as ‘The Parasite’. We are still hard at work, trying to understand why a parasite is the herald of our doom. I still believe in Ethan Haas however, and though he himself is not amongst us, I believe that maybe all of humanity will join him soon. We’ve migrated further inland, scarps and rubble clutter the beaten path, slowing us down. The Parasite is nowhere to be seen. Mayb- HELP! OH MY GOD! RUN!


We ju-t narrowly es-aped ‘The Parasite’. It -eems t- have fl-d. Where? I d-n’t know. A- l-ng as it isn’t HE-E. Everything happe-ed so fast. It just gr-bbe- Julie with it’s hor-endous -rip, tearing h-r in two… So f-st. I coul-n’t get m-re than a glimpse of the t-ing. It was a dark -urple, and it’s ey-s… I’ll never forget those eyes. Hatred and c-uelty. Everythin- evil w- could ever i-agine, all h-dden in those eyes. Hid-en in plai- sight. Well we’v- succe-sful-y reach-d our target destinati-n, and set up cam-. The inte-net connection here is really bad, along with most of the c-ty’s. Stuart had a t-eory, that maybe ‘The Parasite’ was drai-ing our ener-y. I don’t know how well this message will come through, so cros- your fingers. We are.


‘T-e Parasite’ seems to b- lurking down-own, judging by t-e soun-s of carnage. I’ve se-t a reconnais-ance team ou- earlier, and I am eage-ly awaiting th-ir return. If there is a-y…


OK, I have first watch tonight. My comrades probably won’t be able to sleep much anyways… I seem to have reestablished a solid internet connection, and aside from an occasional screw up, my messages should remain clear. As I have first watch I decided to investigate ‘The Parasite’. Judging by what Mr. Haas has predicted before his untimely death, we have until August 1st to amass a rebellion. These monsters have begun to spread further, now attacking Los Angeles and Chicago, judging by the News Stations. CNN reporters have to continuously be called in from other networks as each previous news cas-er is killed, either by The Parasites or natural disaster. Tornadoes seem to be picking up speed around Hollywood… It seems as if the government is of no help to us. They are chalking u- the horror to 9-11. Not even considering that what is happening in reality is Armageddon. Ironic isn’t it? The worlds greatest controversies, politics and religion, are to be our un-oing…








No! Don’t come any closer!


OK, OK. The Parasite made it into our camp. We didn’t even see it coming… It took Stuart and Freddy… Oh god, what have I done? We can’t kill these things. But we’re going to have to try. We are going to have to speed things up a bit, and make sure that everything is ready by August 1st. Training, weapons, all that we have and ever will have with those things out there. It’s all going to be used against them.


OK, my watch is over. Not much to watch anyways is there? Now someone else will take over as I sleep. If I can…


2 Responses

  1. u made all this up and i know everything about this film im making it.

  2. i am not reallly jj im just jokin and this was very interesting i have to say. so dont get all hyped up im not jj at all.

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