Jump the Smarks Episode 11 – Welcome to the Train Wreck.

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In this episode of Jump The Smarks, Team Hellion discuss everything but wrestling. From the Treats failed attempts of trying to get laid, to his love for an indie wrestler. The first roast is set to take place but who will be roasted?? Kevin Hellions comes to a podcast ill prepared? Many questions are proposed but few are answered, except for one involving a glory hole???? Oh god why did i post this episode?

Krone Meltzer – UFC 90 Preview (HELLIONS EXCLUSIVE)

After taking a break from UFC 89, Krone Meltzer is back for his homeboys, Hellions Magazine to give my predictions for UFC 90: Silva vs. Cote. Going an even 2-2 after UFC 88 (with Matt Hamill and the left field KO of Chuck Liddell), my record now stands at 5-2.

This next card should be a good one and while many of people don’t see it as a phenomenal card (as it isn’t one), it still has five solid bouts and all of them should be great. Personally, I see all of these fights having a big effect on their weight division rankings and really push people higher or further down the list. With that being said, here is my rundown of the UFC 90: Silva vs. Cote card.

LIGHTWEIGHT BOUT
Gray Maynard vs. Rich Clementi

This is a hard fight for me to call here to start off. While Gray Maynard does own a recent win over Frankie “The Answer” Edgar, it was by a decision, albeit unanimous. As for Rich Clementi, his most recent win NOT by decision was against Melvin Guillard with a rear naked choke. Since then, he has defeated Sam Stout and Terry Etim by decision, nothing to shout about. I don’t see either of these men finishing off their opponent, but it’s going to be a battle. Personally, I see Gray Maynard winning this bout by a unanimous decision as Rich Clementi won’t be able to finish him off at all in this fight.

Winner: Gray Maynard by Unanimous Decision

LIGHTWEIGHT BOUT
Tyson Griffin vs. Sean Sherk

For those of you wondering, this will indeed by Sean Sherk’s first fight since his loss to BJ Penn back at UFC 84, and to be honest, I see this being a normal Sean Sherk fight. Despite the love I have for Tyson Griffin, I have learned my lesson with picking my favorites (thanks Matt Hamill) and clearly see Sherk laying out another victory here. When your record is 32-3 like Sean Sherk and your only losses are to Matt Hughes, BJ Penn, and GSP, that’s saying something. In the same respect, Tyson Griffin holds a powerful 12-1 record with his only loss coming to Frankie Edgar. Either way, I don’t see Griffin winning here as I think Sherk is too dead set on getting his title back and the journey starts at UFC 90.

Winner: Sean Sherk by Unanimous Decision

HEAVYWEIGHT BOUT
Fabricio Werdum vs. Junior dos Santos

This fight should be the second easiest fight of the night to call as Fabricio is coming off two huge wins against both Brandon Vera and Gabrielle Gonzaga. There is no question that he is going to head into UFC 90 with anything on his mind but stopping Junior in the first round. A win here would clearly put him in the running to face the winner of the small Lesnar/Couture/Mir/Nog tournament. I say Werdum punishes Junior dos Santos and gains a big victory that will go a long way here.

Winner: Fabricio Werdum via. 1st Round TKO

WELTERWEIGHT BOUT
Thiago Alves vs. Josh Koscheck

Stepping in for the injured Diego Sanchez is the wrestler himself Josh Koscheck and this right here is what I see as the real fight of the night. Both Koscheck and Alves are ranked in the top 5 at the welterweight division according to mmaweekly. com and are looking for a future title fight with either GSP, BJ Penn, or possibly Jake Shields who if he comes to the UFC would be first in line in my opinion. While Koscheck’s last loss came to GSP, and he has improved since then, the up and coming Thiago Alves is just to impressive in my mind to not give him the nod here. Holding three consecutive TKO victories against Chris Lytle, then Karo Parisyan, and then Matt Hughes, that is really impressive. I see the very same fate for Josh Koscheck, possibly eating another flying knee when going in for a takedown on Alves, giving him the victory here.

Winner: Thiago Alves via. 2nd Round TKO

UFC MIDDLEWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Anderson Silva (c) vs. Patrick Cote

The main event of the evening may be the most lop sided title fight in quite some time. Granted, anything can happen in MMA as proved by Seth Petruzelli knocking out MMA bad boy Kimbo Slice in :14 seconds, but Anderson Silva is FAR from being Kimbo Slice. “The Spider” is going to come out for this fight and continue to prove to the world that he is the best pound for pound fighter. Not taking anything away from Patrick Cote at all, but I don’t know if there is a middleweight walking this planet right now who can beat Anderson Silva. He is just too good right now and too far on top of his game to suffer a loss. With that said, I believe the less said about this fight, the better.

Winner: Anderson Silva via. 1st Round TKO

So that wraps things up for me here as I will surely be back here for UFC 91 when both Brock Lesnar and Randy “The Natural” Couture meet in what is sure to be the biggest fight in UFC history. Be sure to tune into UFC 90: Silva vs. Cote and listen to the Hellions Magazine podcast folks, but until next time, I am Krone Meltzer saying “Take your vitamins, say your prayers, drink your Moutain Dew, eat your chicken wings and one day, you too can be just like Krone Meltzer.” Thank you.

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Jump the Smarks extra.

As promised, You Tube videos featuring some of the things we talked about on this week’s episode.

Kizarny.

Scott Hall at the Iron Shiek’s roast.

Jump the Smarks Episode 10 – The New Format

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In this episode of Jump The Smarks, the boys test out the new format to great success. They discuss a range of topics from the variety show that is Monday Night Raw to what to say to piss off Scott Hall. Plus Sweet Matty Treats unveils the official Jump The Smarks theme song!!! Also there are many tasteless jokes about Benoit, Jeff Hardy‘s dog, and suicide? Listen to see what Team Hellion has to say.

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Daily Wrestling #1

Vladimir Kozlov Entering The Arena

Image via Wikipedia

Daily Wrestling is where I will write about whatever wrestling I have watched that day.  It might be new, old, DVDs, VHS, downloads, US, Japan, Mexico, women, etc.  It could be one hour or a 24 hour marathon.  Each “issue” will be numbered for my benefit and yours.

Daily Wrestling #1:  WWE Friday Night Smackdown October 3, 2008 and October 10, 2008.

After two weeks of the new Smackdown on MyNetworkTV, I still find the opening to be awful.  Terrible music, and the Smackdown opening has never looked as cool as Raw’s.  Even the ECW opening is interesting.  Maybe it’s the blue color scheme.

Other than each man attacking the other, or hitting finishing moves at random, I’ve been given no reason to care about the Jeff Hardy/ Triple H/ Vladmir Kozlov feud.  Kozlov wants competition, great, but I’ve yet to see him do anything, besides these attacks, to earn a title shot.  A US title shot, maybe, but not a World title.  Also, if he is picked for Cyber Sunday, is this his first PPV appearance?  If so, his first PPV will be in a World title match, that he could possibly win just to shake up the “WWE Universe”.  This isn’t a huge name coming in from another federation, this is an unproven talent that is being forced at the fans.  With a headbutt for a finishing move.  A headbutt.  Even the Samoans don’t use a headbutt as a finisher, and they’re known for having indestructible heads.  I hope in Triple H’s quest to be the greatest ever that he goes over in this match as, “the only man to beat two foes in a Cyber Sunday match”.

Yes, the Big Show has a strong fist.  That and he is also tall, bald, and has a liking for tigers of various colors.  Can we move on with the show now?

Never in my life did I think I would see Mark Henry and The Great Khali making “quick” tags, much less with each other as partners.  Poor Chavo.  Then, in a storyline progression, he’s at Vickie’s side the next week!  Is anyone booked as a weaker human being than Chavo Guerrero?

To R-Truth.  I don’t care to know “what’s up?”  I want you to get to the ring, wrestle an entertaining match, and show the world that you can hang with the likes of Shelton Benjamin and MVP.  Two men that should be receiving your push, as they are great WWE Superstars.  That being said, these three men should either team up or go off into different feuds instead of being the “black portion” of Smackdown.

I’ll write this a lot, but the future of WWE is here now.  Team Priceless vs. the Colons and CM Punk was just one view of it.  Should these kids ever get together backstage it would be a revolution not seen in wrestling since the Kliq.  This could be for good, exciting main events, ladder matches, leading into the Attitude era; or for bad — nWo, quad tears, the end of kayfabe, no wait its back, but there it goes again.

Throughout the October 3 episode the Raw champions looked stronger.  Santino won, Beth won, and CM Punk made the pin for his team (not a Raw champion, but a Raw brand wrestler).  Until the great Triple H comes out with the only pin for the Smackdown side.  Now I understand that with the new network there was a desire to make Smackdown the number one show.  Triple H and Jim Ross were brought over to achieve this goal.  But is making HHH the only force on the roster the best way to go about it?  He’s destroying everyone in his path, and making them look weak.  The Smackdown main event for WrestleMania will have to involve a Raw star switching brands, because by then there will be no legitimate challengers left on Smackdown that the great H has not already defeated.

Kung Fu Naki?  Seriously?

What exactly is an “incentive bonus” for MVP?  At this point I hope its a move to Raw.

Kizarny.  I can’t wait.  This could be a cool crazy gimmick up there with Waylon Mercy and Sean O’Haire.  Unfortunately, it’ll probably last just as long as those previous ones.

Kenny Dykstra and Ryan Braddock?  Guys, you have ECW right there.  Its a show to help these young talents improve and become main eventers.  It works too, look at the success you’ve had with Miz, John Morrison, and Evan Bourne.  Move these guys over there, please.

The Great Khali and Runjin Singh come out.  Talk about Johnny Knoxville and Jackass.  They show the Khali kiss cam from Raw.  Khali destroys three independent wrestlers.  Ok, he destroys one of them, the other two run out of the ring.  They bring in a woman from the audience to kiss Khali on the Khali Kiss Cam.  They find a rather large fan to come into the ring, she’s dressed like well, like a wrestling fan.  Khali kisses her in his best acting since The Longest Yard.

I can see the glass ceiling, and the ladder to reach it, from here for Smackdown.  Triple H at the top.  Undertaker (now looking weak) and Big Show (bossed around by a woman) right below.  Jeff Hardy below that, with a foot on his fingers, trying to kick him down a notch.  Shelton, MVP, and Truth — amazing talents all — are feuding over the Black US title.  Any young talents are given comedic gimmicks, so fans don’t take them too seriously, or no wins — thus no push.  But those saying, “there are no new stars” the gods of the WWE Universe will point to Vladmir Kozlov.  That’s the best you can give me?  A Cold War- era recycled gimmick with a wrestler not nearly as talented as past Russians.

Where is my current heel?  Someone from the Middle East?  From North Korea?  A rich billionaire who is buying up mortgages and forcing people out of their homes.  Get really controversial, have Finlay and Hornswoggle dress up as priests, yet still invite children into the ring with them.  Don’t do anything further than that, you won’t need to.  But a Russian?  Where is that a threat besides Atlanta?  (See, Atlanta is in the state of Georgia, while Russia is fighting with its neighboring country also named Georgia.  Also, WCW was based in Atlanta, thus giving me two jokes for the price of one.)

Of course, even if we had that heel, Triple H would squash him.

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Oliva Munn-day

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Image by Hellions Magazine via Flickr

The day we celebrate the beauty that is Oliva Munn.

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Babe of the Day – Kelly Kelly

Kelly Kelly, wins over the crowd as ECW visits...

Image via Wikipedia

Babe of the Day schedule:

Mondays – Raw – Kelly Kelly

Tuesdays – ECW – Tiffany

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