A Geek-End Weekend August 2008.

This is an old Geek-end Weekend, only now being written about.  Myself, the one and only Kevin Hellions, was joined by Sweet Matty Treats, Krone Meltzer, and the Educator of Excellence to go see some WWE and UFC action.  Along the way we were joined by the Raptor and this version of Team Hellions went to Syracuse NY for a Smackdown/ECW house show.
First stop was the Carousel mall to see if we ran into any WWE Superstars out killing time before the show.  Last time we were in Syracuse for a show there was a wrestler near by every time you turned your head.  Kane was signing autographs at Best Buy.  Kristal Marshall, Jimmy Wang Yang and Paul London were shopping.  Team Hellions walked behind Kristal for the entire length of the mall.  And it was well worth it.  Mark Henry and Marcus Cor Von were walking the mall together, parting the crowd like Moses did the Red Sea.  I summoned up the courage to shake Mr. Cor Von’s hand and tell him what a huge fan I am.  Unfortunately I closed my hand too quickly and bent his fingers back for a very uncomfortable handshake.
But this time there were no wrestlers to talk to, nor any autograph signings.  I bought some comics, we all had a little bit to eat and were off to the show.
Well, half of the show at least.  Because after seeing talented wrestlers such as Evan Bourne, the Brian Kendrick, Shelton Benjamin and Jeff Hardy we were treated to a half hour classic… between Mike Knox and Finlay.  While both are talented wrestlers, this was not the match that anyone wanted to see.  Maybe for 5 minutes, but no longer than 6.  Much less 30.  The match didn’t seem to ever end.  No classic British catch as catch can wrestling from Finlay.  No brawling from Mike Knox.  No response from the crowd.  Which we led.  You see, for every match up until this one Team Hellions led the slow claps.  We rallied behind the faces and motivated them to make dramatic come backs.  But even our magical hands could not save Finlay.
The match was thankfully over and we were ready for… intermission!  …the fuck?  Really?  We had a UFC PPV to watch.  Brock Lesnar!  Realizing that this was a house show no one cared about, even the wrestlers were playing it safe and being, lets face it, boring, we left the show early to travel to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch some UFC.  We arrive at 930, the show starts at 10 and we see three free tables.  Things are looking up.  We’re number 5 on the list, but with 3 free tables this shouldn’t take long at all.  Many minutes go by and no one has been seated.  Finally we ask, why is no one sitting there?  “Oh, some wrestlers put down $500 per table to hold them so they can watch Brock Lesnar.”  We’re now confused.  Do we leave, realizing we’ll never get a seat and eat tonight.  Or do we stay, and see some wrestlers?  We stayed.  Standing for two hours for this moment.  “Mr. Dykstra, your table is over here.”  Sweet Matty Treats leads the way for Kenny Dykstra and Victoria!  More wrestlers follow.  The Hardys and MVP were shown to their table by us.  And then we stood.  What now?  Brock’s fight came on, he won, and we left.  For Denny’s.  Slow Joe was our waiter, forgetting things like spoons, forks, and our drinks.  He tried but the kid wasn’t right in the head.  Another waitress kept apologizing for him and offered to switch tables so she could wait on us.  Not a problem we said, because then we would have to leave a tip.  Dammit, tips are to be earned, not expected!  Slow Joe receives a few dollars and a half.  Litterally a half, as the Educator tore a dollar in two and left half of it there.
We leave for home, defeated men.  No great wrestling, no great food, no great UFC.  But we had the memories of another Geek-end Weekend.

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