WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event (thoughts and results) August 2, 2008.

Quick Results:

JBL, Cody Rhodes, Ted Dibiasie, Kane vs. Cryme Tyme, John Cena and Batista

JBL pins JTG

Great Khali vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Khali pins Wang

Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

Edge pins Hardy

The “autism” edition of SNME aired tonight, and it was a terrible night for wrestling.  Three matches, one of which featured the Great Khali so… you know.  No ECW, no title matches, no Triple H, no Shawn Michaels, no Undertaker, no Chris Jericho, no Divas, no announcements.  CM Punk still doesn’t have an opponent for Summerslam, one of the biggest PPVs of the year.  If WWE doesn’t care enough about this show to put on anything good, then why should I care?  Well, because I write and run a wrestling site that’s why.  But why should the general public care?  Let’s look at the show in detail:

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are the announcers for the evening.  Excellent choice, as they are arguably the greatest duo in wrestling history.  For the opening match they are joined by CM Punk.  Punk does an acceptable job on the headset, but to further what?  We still don’t know who he’s facing at Summerslam.  There was no highlight video, no hype, no best of, not even a “look at how CM Punk became champion”.  Four of the eight men in this match are not well known main eventers — those that the NBC audience might know — and we’re given no reason to care.  If I’m a casual fan I’ve been given no reason to care about half of the wrestlers, and barely any reason for the other half.

Jim Ross tries to hype various NBC shows to little effect.  If I’m not already watching these (which I’m not) he’s given me no reason to start now.

Jeff Foxworthy, Carmen Electra, and Ben Stiller give pre-taped messages about autism.  Now, how to say this delicately?  Are these the best choices of celebrities for autism awareness?  Characteristics of autism include impaired communication and repetitve behavior.  Well, there are few forms of repetitive behavior more repetitve than repeating “you might be a redneck” jokes for the last 20 years.  Or running on a beach in slow motion, or repeatedly dating men that are bad for you.  As far as impaired communication… well I’ve yet to laugh at a Ben Stiller movie, so apparently there’s some sort of mis-communication between us.

The Great Khali “wrestled” tonight.  This is still a wrestling show, the company is not called World Sports-Entertainment Entertainment.  And what better wrestler than Khali?  I get it, he’s big, he’s a freak of nature.  But so is a person born with an extra arm, or their unborn twin’s face growing out of their skull, and I don’t need to see any of them fighting for a world title.

I’ll give Jenny McCarthy all the credit in the world for the work she’s done with autism over the last couple years.  She went from a dumb pretty blonde to an intelligent woman that has used her fame for a greater good.  While the celebrity help she had tonight was lack luster, she has been amazing all the way.

The Jeff Hardy/Edge match never seemed to click tonight.  They’ve fought many times and had many great matches, but this was a forgettable one.  The best part was MVP’s escape through the crowd.  He viciously attacks Jeff and then politely makes his way through the crowd.  Excuse me, ‘scuse me, pardon me, watch your feet, ‘scuse me.  The heel with so much bling he has a heart of gold.

A disappointing show overall, and yet another reason to view the NBC/WWE experiment as a failure.

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Saturday Night’s Main Event Spoilers (airing August 2, 2008.)

Dark Match:
* Paul London b. Charlie Haas
– London comes out with a new haircut. He got the win after hitting a shooting star press.

* Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler make their way out to ringside.

Saturday Night’s Main Event: (Airing This Saturday)
* CM Punk comes out to a huge pop with the title belt around his waist as he joins Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross.

* JBL, Cody Rhodes, Kane, and Ted DiBiase Jr. b. John Cena, Cryme Tyme, and Batista.
– JBL got the win after pinning JTG.

* A video of Carmen Electra is shown speaking on autism.

* The Great Khali b. Jimmy Wang Yang.
Khali won via pinfall in a squash match.

* A video of Jeff Foxworthy is shown speaking on autism.

* Jenny McCarthy is on her way out to ringside.

* Edge b. Jeff Hardy
Edge got the win with the spear after MVP came out and kicked Jeff in the head.

WWE Friday Night Smackdown Results June 27, 2008.

Vickie Guerrero introduces the new voice of Smackdown – Jim Ross!

Triple H comes out and puts over Smackdown, puts over Jim Ross, and hypes up Night of Champions.  Edge comes out.  Triple H and Edge face off, both with their respective belts.  They insult and one up each other for awhile.  Batista comes out, Triple H tosses Edge out of the ring where Batista spears Edge on the outside.  Batista then steals Edge’s title.

Kane and the Big Show vs. Mark Henry and MVP

MVP and Mark Henry have problems throughout the match.  MVP tries to leave, Mark throws him back into the ring.  Kane hits a choke slam on MVP for the pin.

Vickie is having a meeting with Alicia Fox.  Edge comes in and wants Vickie to do something to Batista so Edge can get his title back.

Finlay and Hornswoggle vs. Kurt Hawkins and Zach Ryder

Finlay hits the Celtic Cross on Hawkins, then Hornswoggle comes off the top rope with the Tadpole Splash for the pin.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

After a good long match, Edge hits a spear on Hardy for the pin.

Jeff Hardy hype video.  Jeff returns to Smackdown next week.

Kelly Kelly, Michelle McCool, and Cherry vs. Maryse, Victoria, and Natalya

Vickie Guerrero is barely watching the match backstage, instead she is continuing to talk to Alicia Fox.  All six Divas brawl until Maryse rolls up Cherry for the pin.

Vladmir Kozlov vs. Domino

Kozlov hits a shouler tackle into Domino as Domino is coming off the top rope for the pin.

Rey Mysterio and Hornswoggle have a little interaction backstage.

Rey Mysterio comes out to say goodbye to Smackdown.

Batista vs. Umaga

Batista is about to pin Umaga when La Familia come out and jump him.  All the heels beat down Batista, Umaga just about destroys him.  Umaga is about to splash Batista when Triple H comes out for the save.  Batista and Triple H take out the heels.

Show ends.

WWE Smackdown Tapings for June 27, 2008.

Dark Match:
* Tommy Dreamer b. Kevin Thorn after hitting a DDT.

WWE SmackDown: (Airing This Friday)
* Mick Foley makes his way out to ringside. So far, no sign of Jim Ross.

* SmackDown opens with Vickie Guerrero nearly in tears talking about Vince McMahon’s “accident.” She receives a lot of heat and wishes Vince well. She says she hopes he’s not in a wheelchair. She announces new SmackDown color commentator, Jim Ross. He makes his way out to ringside as the crowd explodes!

* Triple H comes out to cut a promo. He gets a huge pop. Triple H welcomes Jim Ross to SmackDown by saying he is the best and he’s glad he came with him. He the talks about Night of Champions. Edge comes out to interrupt him. He tells Triple H that they can get both get along. Hunter disagrees by saying that both have too big of egos and that Edge won’t have the World Championship after Sunday’s Night of Champions pay-per-view.

Edge combats by saying this is his house and that Triple H needs to respect him. Batista then comes out. Hunter then pushes Edge and Batista hits him. They both hold the title up while Edge is on the ground.

* Rey Mysterio’s last appearance on SmackDown is announced for tonight.

* Big Show & Kane b. MVP & Mark Henry
The match was back and forth throughout. MVP tagged himself in and got in trouble with Kane. He tried to leave but Mark Henry threw him back in. Kane pins him for the win.

* Finlay & Hornswoggle b. Zack Ryder & Kurt Hawkins
Huge pop for Finlay & Hornswoggle. The match was pretty much one sided throughout and Finlay & Hornswoggle take the win. The Miz & John Morrison stand on the entrance ramp with their belts.

* Edge b. Matt Hardy
I’m told this was a pretty decent match throughout. Lots of holds and counter holds. Edge wins with a spear after several near falls. Lots of crowd heat on Edge.

* Maryse, Victoria, & Natalya b. Kelly Kelly, Michelle McCool, & Cherry
The match was back and forth throughout. The crowd could have cared less. After all the divas get involved Maryse gets the roll up pin on Cherry for the win!

* It is announced that Kennedy won’t be on SmackDown until next week.

* Vladimir Kozlov b. Domino
Real quick match. Heat on both Superstars.

* Rey Mysterio comes out wearing street clothes and his mask. He explains to the fans that he has been drafted to Monday Night Raw and he hopes everyone will tune in weekly to watch him. He goes on to say hopefully he can fulfill more of his dreams.

Batista then comes out and says he will back Rey wherever he goes.

* Batista vs. Umaga
Umaga has control early on. The match moves slowly. Zack Ryder & Kurt Hawkins come running out while Edge grabs his belt. La Familia beat Umaga.

Triple H comes out and helps Batista clean house.  Pedigree and Batista Bomb on Zack Ryder & Kurt Hawkins.

Batista grabs the mic and said at first he was upset about the Draft. Triple H then told him he was going to do good on Raw. SmackDown goes off the air.

ECW results for June 24, 2008.

A video package is played of last night’s “stage collapse”.

ECW General Manager Theodore Long says that while Vince is in all their prayers, the show must go on.  He then introduces the newest member of ECW – Matt Hardy.

Matt Hardy and CM Punk vs. John Morrison and the Miz.

Move of the night was a double bulldog/high five move performed by Punk and Hardy on Miz and Morrison.

Hornswoggle, who has been hiding under the ring, distracts the Miz.  Hardy hits a Twist of Fate on Morrison for the pin.

Extreme Rules Match:  Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin.

Kofi hits a Huracanrana on Shelton, throwing him into a trash can, then hits the Trouble in Paradise for the pin.

During the match it was announced that there will be a supplemental WWE draft on WWE.com tomorrow.

Mike Knox vs. Evan Bourne

Knox hits the Knox-out for the pin.

Big Show joins the announcers for this match.

Kane vs. Mark Henry

Kane falls off the top rope.  Henry picks him up and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin.

WWE Monday Night Raw Results June 23, 2008.

3 Hour Draft Edition of Raw

Live from San Antonio, TX.

Tonight’s password for the McMahon’s Million Dollar Mania is:  Night of Champions

The matches tonight will be interpromotional, the winner of the match gets one draft pick for his/her brand.

Triple H vs. Mark Henry

Triple H wins after hitting the Pedigree on Mark Henry.

Rey Mysterio is drafted to Raw.

Vince McMahon brings out Kelly Kelly, and gives away $100,000

Triple H and Rey Mysterio talk backstage.  John Cena interupts.  Cena and H have words.

Finlay and Hornswoggle vs Santino Marella and Carlito.

Finlay hits a Celtic Cross on Santino, followed up by a Tadpole Splash from Hornswoggle.  Hornswoggle pins Santino.

Jeff Hardy is drafted to Smackdown.

Randy Orton is watching tonight’s show backstage.

Vince brings out Randy Orton, who cuts a short promo.  Vince gives away $100, 000.

Ted Dibiasie joins the announcers for the next match.

Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes vs Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely

Hardcore hits the Alabama Slam on Chavo for the pin.

CM Punk is drafted to Raw.

Chris Jericho trashes Shawn Michaels and introduces Lance Cade to the feud.  Shawn Michaels comes out and goes after Jericho.  Jericho knocks Shawn into the announce table, injuring Shawn’s face even more.

John Morrison and the Miz vs Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder

Vickie Guerrero comes out and says that “in light of recent developments” the match has been changed.  The match is now:

John Morrison and the Miz vs the Hardys

John Morrison rolls up Matt Hardy and hooks the tights for the pin.

Matt Hardy is drafted to ECW.

Vince brings out Ric Flair.  Vince gives away $100,000.

The next match is an “announcers only” draft pick.

Melina and Mickie James vs Natalya and Victoria.

Melina injures herself falling off the ring.  The Divas all brawl on the outside, leading to a double disqualification.  Therefore, both shows get a draft pick.

Jim Ross to Smackdown.

Michael Cole to Raw.

Vince brings out Great Khali.  Vince gives away $100,000.

Edge vs John Cena

Edge and Cena fight outside the ring.  Cena comes back in the ring at the count of 9, Edge doesn’t make the count.  John Cena wins the match by countout.  Batista comes out and briefly fights with Edge.

Batista is drafted to Raw.

Backstage, Vince talks to Edge and Vickie Guerrero.  He reminds Vickie that no matter who is traded tonight, it doesn’t effect the card for Night of Champions.

MVP vs. Tommy Dreamer (with Colin Delaney)

MVP pins Dreamer after a mafia kick.

Umaga is drafted to Smackdown.

Umaga beats down Dreamer and Delaney.

JBL vs. Kofi Kingston

JBL hits the Clothesline from Hell for the pin.

Kane is drafted to Raw.

Vince gives away $100,000 to a random fan who is also in the live crowd.

15 Man Battle Royal.  Winning brand gets two picks.

from Raw: Triple H, John Cena, Kane, Batista, CM Punk

from ECW: Matt Hardy, John Morrison, the Miz, Shelton Benjamin, Chavo Guerrero

from Smackdown:  Big Show, Edge, Great Khali, Jeff Hardy, MVP

Everyone gangs up to eliminate the Great Khali.

CM Punk eliminates Shelton.

Batista eliminates John Morrison and the Miz

Big Show eliminates CM Punk.

Jeff Hardy eliminates Chavo Guerrero.

Matt Hardy eliminates MVP.

Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy fight.  Jeff eliminates Matt.

Edge and Batista go for spears at the same time, and accidently collide their heads into each other.  Batista gets busted open.

Triple H eliminates Jeff Hardy.

Big Show eliminates Batista.

Big Show eliminates Kane.

John Cena and Triple H eliminate the Big Show.

Edge runs Cena into Triple H, thus eliminating Triple H.  Edge then tosses Cena over the rope and onto Triple H.

Edge is the sole winner, Smackdown gets two draft picks.

Mr. Kennedy is drafted to Smackdown.

Triple H is drafted to Smackdown.

Vince gives away $500,000.  Suddenly, the entire stage collapses, trapping Vince underneath it.  All of the wrestlers still out by the ring rush towards him to try to lift the scaffolding up in order to let the EMTs get to Vince.  Vince is screaming for “Paul” (Triple H) and yelling that he can’t feel his legs as Raw goes off the air.

ECW Spoilers for June 17, 2008.

ECW
Hornswoggle d. Armando Estrada with the Tadpole Splash. It was purely comedy. Hornswoggle ran away, pulling out a squirt gun and spraying him with water. When he realized that didn’t work, he ran with Armando chasing him. He pulled out a toy mallet and started hitting him with it. He lured him outside where Finlay was hiding underneath the ring with a huge Super Soaker and sprayed him. Finlay may have hit him after that because he rolled him into the ring knocked out so Hornswoggle could give him the Splash.

Layla danced for the crowd, only to stop as the crowd wasn’t giving her any love, even though she dances WAY better than Kelly Kelly. She said that might be the last time they see her dance, and she hopes she gets traded to a brand where the fans could appreciate her.

Evan Bourne d. Matt Striker with the SSP (I’m surprised they brought back the Shooting Star, but it was nice to see it again.) After the Evan Bourne/Matt Striker match, Mike Knox ambushed Bourne and attacked him for “last week” (the night before???)

Kofi Kingston d. Mike Knox via DQ. Shelton was on the offense until he went for his patented screw kick, in which Kofi dodged and hit Mike Knox, who was coming from behind to help out. Knox and Benjamin argued as Kofi went up the ramp.

Like Nando said, Teddy Long gives Finlay and Hornswoggle the Tag Team title fight with Miz and Morrison at Night of the Champions with Finlay nailing him with the shillelagh after Miz asked if Long was serious about giving them the title shot.

CM Punk d. John Morrison with the GTS. As Punk was celebrating in the ring and Morrison was stumbling up the ramp, Miz comes by with an icepack over where Finlay hit him, and says Morrison is still one half of the Tag Team championship.

Teddy Long brings out Big Show and Kane for a “confrontation”. Big Show said they were rivals and tag team partners but at Night of the Champions, he’s going after he wants. Kane said Show knows him and that he’ll do whatever it takes to keep the title, in which Show said he’s a sick, sadistic freak. Mark Henry comes out and says he doesn’t care who’s the champ, after Night of the Champions, he’s going after the champ. After Show and Kane double chokeslam Henry, they continue to argue until the show ends, as both leave to applause.