A Geek-End Weekend August 2008.

This is an old Geek-end Weekend, only now being written about.  Myself, the one and only Kevin Hellions, was joined by Sweet Matty Treats, Krone Meltzer, and the Educator of Excellence to go see some WWE and UFC action.  Along the way we were joined by the Raptor and this version of Team Hellions went to Syracuse NY for a Smackdown/ECW house show.
First stop was the Carousel mall to see if we ran into any WWE Superstars out killing time before the show.  Last time we were in Syracuse for a show there was a wrestler near by every time you turned your head.  Kane was signing autographs at Best Buy.  Kristal Marshall, Jimmy Wang Yang and Paul London were shopping.  Team Hellions walked behind Kristal for the entire length of the mall.  And it was well worth it.  Mark Henry and Marcus Cor Von were walking the mall together, parting the crowd like Moses did the Red Sea.  I summoned up the courage to shake Mr. Cor Von’s hand and tell him what a huge fan I am.  Unfortunately I closed my hand too quickly and bent his fingers back for a very uncomfortable handshake.
But this time there were no wrestlers to talk to, nor any autograph signings.  I bought some comics, we all had a little bit to eat and were off to the show.
Well, half of the show at least.  Because after seeing talented wrestlers such as Evan Bourne, the Brian Kendrick, Shelton Benjamin and Jeff Hardy we were treated to a half hour classic… between Mike Knox and Finlay.  While both are talented wrestlers, this was not the match that anyone wanted to see.  Maybe for 5 minutes, but no longer than 6.  Much less 30.  The match didn’t seem to ever end.  No classic British catch as catch can wrestling from Finlay.  No brawling from Mike Knox.  No response from the crowd.  Which we led.  You see, for every match up until this one Team Hellions led the slow claps.  We rallied behind the faces and motivated them to make dramatic come backs.  But even our magical hands could not save Finlay.
The match was thankfully over and we were ready for… intermission!  …the fuck?  Really?  We had a UFC PPV to watch.  Brock Lesnar!  Realizing that this was a house show no one cared about, even the wrestlers were playing it safe and being, lets face it, boring, we left the show early to travel to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch some UFC.  We arrive at 930, the show starts at 10 and we see three free tables.  Things are looking up.  We’re number 5 on the list, but with 3 free tables this shouldn’t take long at all.  Many minutes go by and no one has been seated.  Finally we ask, why is no one sitting there?  “Oh, some wrestlers put down $500 per table to hold them so they can watch Brock Lesnar.”  We’re now confused.  Do we leave, realizing we’ll never get a seat and eat tonight.  Or do we stay, and see some wrestlers?  We stayed.  Standing for two hours for this moment.  “Mr. Dykstra, your table is over here.”  Sweet Matty Treats leads the way for Kenny Dykstra and Victoria!  More wrestlers follow.  The Hardys and MVP were shown to their table by us.  And then we stood.  What now?  Brock’s fight came on, he won, and we left.  For Denny’s.  Slow Joe was our waiter, forgetting things like spoons, forks, and our drinks.  He tried but the kid wasn’t right in the head.  Another waitress kept apologizing for him and offered to switch tables so she could wait on us.  Not a problem we said, because then we would have to leave a tip.  Dammit, tips are to be earned, not expected!  Slow Joe receives a few dollars and a half.  Litterally a half, as the Educator tore a dollar in two and left half of it there.
We leave for home, defeated men.  No great wrestling, no great food, no great UFC.  But we had the memories of another Geek-end Weekend.

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WWE releases Super Crazy.

from WWE.com

World Wrestling Entertainment has come to terms on the release of SmackDown Superstar Super Crazy as of Nov. 5, 2008. WWE wishes Super Crazy the best in all future endeavors.

and from the Wrestling Observer:

Wrestling Observer Newsltter

Smackdown wrestler Super Crazy (real name Francisco Pantoja Islas) reportedly quit the company at a show this past week.

It came out of nowhere, and he was said to be unhappy with his status in the company. He’s been been promised pushes a number of times, but they’ve never materialized.

Senior Vice President of Talent Relations John Laurinaitis didn’t take the news too well. Laurinaitis told Islas, “Do you know how many wrestlers in Mexico want to be here?”

Islas was telling friends that despite his low-level position with the company, he was happy with the pay, but unhappy with his job.

Should WWE release Islas, he is eligible to collect three months of pay without working due to the non-compete clause, but he’s willing to waive it because he simply wants to wrestle to the best of his ability. If he waives the non-compete clause, he is still not able to go to TNA for 90 days, but that’s probably not his goal anyway.

In an update to this story, WWE released a statement on the company website this afternoon acknowledging his departure from the company.

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Geek-End Weekend I.

Geek-end Weekend I

(This is not the first Weekend, not by far, but it is the first one to be written about.  Dates will be provided when and where I can remember them.)

October 24 – October 26, 2008.

On Friday night, the 24th of October, members of Team Hellions made their way to Syracuse, NY.  This was to be a weekend of wrestling, MMA, comics, and general geekiness.  But first, a drive!  Myself – Kevin Hellions, along with Sweet Matty Treats, the Educator of Excellence, and scourge of the Internet Wrestling Community – Krone Meltzer, drove the unheard of distance of 70 miles to see some hot 2CW action.  However, knowing that we would yell and scream for 3 hours of independent wrestling, we knew that food would be required.  What better place to stop than Plainville Turkey Farm?
http://www.plainvillefarms.com/restaurant/

Located in Cicero, NY this buffet style restaurant provides a Thanksgiving style buffet every day of the year.  Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, cranberry sauce, soups, salads, and more.  It was glorious for myself and Treats, we who are known for eating dinner during the Jump the Smarks podcast.  I was enjoying plate after plate of buffet while Treats was trying to get into the waitress’s panties.  (I can only assume he was laying the seeds for a backup should Portia Perez say no to his advances).  Halfway into a large slab of white meat turkey I notice that I am the only one enjoying their food.  Krone is currently cutting weight for his wrestling team.  Perhaps a buffet wasn’t the best idea, but what harm could one meal do?  I look over at the Educator, who has frozen, fork halfway to his mouth, staring at his plate of salad.  What harm could come from salad? There it was, a large flying insect, not native to this country, lodged within the folds of his lettuce.  I wish I could show you a picture of this beast, but none of us took a picture with our phones nor am I willing to wade through the millions of insect species (or so Wikipedia tells me) to figure out what it was.  The Educator politely and calmly points out this invader to the waitress, who Treats is still trying to invade.  Minutes later and a free meal for the Educator means more money for the weekend.

We leave Plainville a little earlier than planned (I for one could have eaten two or three more plates, plus desert), and it was off to the Carousel Mall in Syracuse, NY.  These three stories of retail glory is in the building process of becoming the largest mall in North America.  And it has one fantastic comics shop.  Play the Game, Read the Story always has the comics I’m looking for, and have special ordered products for me many times.  They have gaming nights and frequent special deals.
http://www.playthegamereadthestory.com/

Then it was off to some amazing as always 2CW action.  My friend and fellow Hellion, Krone Meltzer, has posted his thoughts on this already and there is no reason for me to repeat it.  I will say that I have now been to four 2CW shows this year and never once been disappointed.  I walked out on a WWE show this year, I’ve been let down by UFC pay per views, but 2CW has always been worth every penny and then some.

Saturday brought my Christmas, the local library book sale.  Thousands upon thousands of books all for a dollar or less.  Most I’ll never read, but one day sell at the future Hellions store (coming soon!  Well, in the grand scheme of things in the universe it’s soon.  Might still be a few years out.)  However, that didn’t stop myself and the Educator of Excellence from spending a little money on a lot of books.

That evening brought an end to the Geek-end Weekend.  UFC 90 – Silva vs. Cote was on, and we were left… accepting?  I accepted the results but was far from blown away as I usually am for UFC shows.  It didn’t matter that much though, I had a belly full of chicken wings, cheeseburger dippers, and beer thanks to my local Buffalo Wild Wings.  Also, your host and lead Hellion, Kevin Hellions, was interviewed by the local TV station for an upcoming sweeps-month story on the phenomenon that is MMA.

Total cost for the weekend?  Probably close to $150, but worth every cent.  Comics, wrestling, and MMA are my obsessions.  The joke around here at Hellions is that, “if it involves men in tights, we’re there!”  A smart ass, tongue in cheek comment to be sure, but the underlying truth is there.  Where there are comics, wrestling, or MMA of any kind in New York, Team Hellions will be there.

Join us for the next Geek-end Weekend, coming soon. (Lesnar vs. Couture?)

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Jump the Smarks Episode 11 – Welcome to the Train Wreck.

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In this episode of Jump The Smarks, Team Hellion discuss everything but wrestling. From the Treats failed attempts of trying to get laid, to his love for an indie wrestler. The first roast is set to take place but who will be roasted?? Kevin Hellions comes to a podcast ill prepared? Many questions are proposed but few are answered, except for one involving a glory hole???? Oh god why did i post this episode?

Jump the Smarks extra.

As promised, You Tube videos featuring some of the things we talked about on this week’s episode.

Kizarny.

Scott Hall at the Iron Shiek’s roast.

Jump the Smarks Episode 10 – The New Format

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In this episode of Jump The Smarks, the boys test out the new format to great success. They discuss a range of topics from the variety show that is Monday Night Raw to what to say to piss off Scott Hall. Plus Sweet Matty Treats unveils the official Jump The Smarks theme song!!! Also there are many tasteless jokes about Benoit, Jeff Hardy‘s dog, and suicide? Listen to see what Team Hellion has to say.

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Daily Wrestling #1

Vladimir Kozlov Entering The Arena

Image via Wikipedia

Daily Wrestling is where I will write about whatever wrestling I have watched that day.  It might be new, old, DVDs, VHS, downloads, US, Japan, Mexico, women, etc.  It could be one hour or a 24 hour marathon.  Each “issue” will be numbered for my benefit and yours.

Daily Wrestling #1:  WWE Friday Night Smackdown October 3, 2008 and October 10, 2008.

After two weeks of the new Smackdown on MyNetworkTV, I still find the opening to be awful.  Terrible music, and the Smackdown opening has never looked as cool as Raw’s.  Even the ECW opening is interesting.  Maybe it’s the blue color scheme.

Other than each man attacking the other, or hitting finishing moves at random, I’ve been given no reason to care about the Jeff Hardy/ Triple H/ Vladmir Kozlov feud.  Kozlov wants competition, great, but I’ve yet to see him do anything, besides these attacks, to earn a title shot.  A US title shot, maybe, but not a World title.  Also, if he is picked for Cyber Sunday, is this his first PPV appearance?  If so, his first PPV will be in a World title match, that he could possibly win just to shake up the “WWE Universe”.  This isn’t a huge name coming in from another federation, this is an unproven talent that is being forced at the fans.  With a headbutt for a finishing move.  A headbutt.  Even the Samoans don’t use a headbutt as a finisher, and they’re known for having indestructible heads.  I hope in Triple H’s quest to be the greatest ever that he goes over in this match as, “the only man to beat two foes in a Cyber Sunday match”.

Yes, the Big Show has a strong fist.  That and he is also tall, bald, and has a liking for tigers of various colors.  Can we move on with the show now?

Never in my life did I think I would see Mark Henry and The Great Khali making “quick” tags, much less with each other as partners.  Poor Chavo.  Then, in a storyline progression, he’s at Vickie’s side the next week!  Is anyone booked as a weaker human being than Chavo Guerrero?

To R-Truth.  I don’t care to know “what’s up?”  I want you to get to the ring, wrestle an entertaining match, and show the world that you can hang with the likes of Shelton Benjamin and MVP.  Two men that should be receiving your push, as they are great WWE Superstars.  That being said, these three men should either team up or go off into different feuds instead of being the “black portion” of Smackdown.

I’ll write this a lot, but the future of WWE is here now.  Team Priceless vs. the Colons and CM Punk was just one view of it.  Should these kids ever get together backstage it would be a revolution not seen in wrestling since the Kliq.  This could be for good, exciting main events, ladder matches, leading into the Attitude era; or for bad — nWo, quad tears, the end of kayfabe, no wait its back, but there it goes again.

Throughout the October 3 episode the Raw champions looked stronger.  Santino won, Beth won, and CM Punk made the pin for his team (not a Raw champion, but a Raw brand wrestler).  Until the great Triple H comes out with the only pin for the Smackdown side.  Now I understand that with the new network there was a desire to make Smackdown the number one show.  Triple H and Jim Ross were brought over to achieve this goal.  But is making HHH the only force on the roster the best way to go about it?  He’s destroying everyone in his path, and making them look weak.  The Smackdown main event for WrestleMania will have to involve a Raw star switching brands, because by then there will be no legitimate challengers left on Smackdown that the great H has not already defeated.

Kung Fu Naki?  Seriously?

What exactly is an “incentive bonus” for MVP?  At this point I hope its a move to Raw.

Kizarny.  I can’t wait.  This could be a cool crazy gimmick up there with Waylon Mercy and Sean O’Haire.  Unfortunately, it’ll probably last just as long as those previous ones.

Kenny Dykstra and Ryan Braddock?  Guys, you have ECW right there.  Its a show to help these young talents improve and become main eventers.  It works too, look at the success you’ve had with Miz, John Morrison, and Evan Bourne.  Move these guys over there, please.

The Great Khali and Runjin Singh come out.  Talk about Johnny Knoxville and Jackass.  They show the Khali kiss cam from Raw.  Khali destroys three independent wrestlers.  Ok, he destroys one of them, the other two run out of the ring.  They bring in a woman from the audience to kiss Khali on the Khali Kiss Cam.  They find a rather large fan to come into the ring, she’s dressed like well, like a wrestling fan.  Khali kisses her in his best acting since The Longest Yard.

I can see the glass ceiling, and the ladder to reach it, from here for Smackdown.  Triple H at the top.  Undertaker (now looking weak) and Big Show (bossed around by a woman) right below.  Jeff Hardy below that, with a foot on his fingers, trying to kick him down a notch.  Shelton, MVP, and Truth — amazing talents all — are feuding over the Black US title.  Any young talents are given comedic gimmicks, so fans don’t take them too seriously, or no wins — thus no push.  But those saying, “there are no new stars” the gods of the WWE Universe will point to Vladmir Kozlov.  That’s the best you can give me?  A Cold War- era recycled gimmick with a wrestler not nearly as talented as past Russians.

Where is my current heel?  Someone from the Middle East?  From North Korea?  A rich billionaire who is buying up mortgages and forcing people out of their homes.  Get really controversial, have Finlay and Hornswoggle dress up as priests, yet still invite children into the ring with them.  Don’t do anything further than that, you won’t need to.  But a Russian?  Where is that a threat besides Atlanta?  (See, Atlanta is in the state of Georgia, while Russia is fighting with its neighboring country also named Georgia.  Also, WCW was based in Atlanta, thus giving me two jokes for the price of one.)

Of course, even if we had that heel, Triple H would squash him.

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